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Homeschooling – past and present

I was working on an article about “back to homeschooling” for Growing Up in Santa Cruz (read it!), and in the midst of corresponding with representatives of the wide range of local homeschoolers, I came across yet another incendiary piece on the web about how awful homeschooling is, how it’s damaging children, killing public education, and shaking the very foundation of our republic.

You can read any number of these pieces on the web, just Google it. But it got me to thinking how my thinking has come around on this issue, due to my own experience and to meeting all these great and varied homeschoolers in my community.

Click on “homeschooling” above and you’ll see that I am what is called by our ilk “a reluctant homeschooler.” I never had any intention of following this path, unlike many of the committed, inspired parents I interact with in our community. Here are some thoughts on how my viewpoint has changed since that fateful day I was forced to become a homeschooler…

In the past, when our son was in preschool, my husband and I read about a local homeschooler who had declared her home a “private school” and whose daughter was doing some fabulous thing or other. I remember that the “private school” part of it amused us, and we made fun of it in our ignorance.

Now I know they’re called independent homeschoolers and it’s a perfectly legal and legitimate route to take. And not only do I know people who do their homeschooling this way, but I respect the path they’re taking. My children are registered with a public school program for various reasons. I love the program’s social atmosphere and I appreciate that our tax dollars go to a local school district. But I do have a bit of a sense that my independent friends are taking the more “virtuous” path, as far as homeschooling goes.

In the past, I would have assumed that most homeschoolers were probably not schooling their children as well as a school, even a mediocre school, could.

Now, I’m pretty much convinced that schools are unlikely to produce a better-educated product — uh, child — than the child’s parents are. Most people end up more or less educated similarly to their parents. We wonder why kids can’t learn math? In most cases, you can predict their math skills from their home life. Ditto interest in reading and critical thinking ability. Yes, occasionally a school, or more likely a committed teacher, can really reach a child and help her to reach past what she was given in life. But I know that in a good number of those cases, you’d see parents who want more for their child, too. Parents who don’t care about education don’t choose to homeschool.

In the past, I thought that our local public school would be “good enough.”

Now that I have kids, I only feel successful as a parent if I know that I’m doing the best to fulfill their needs. And if the local public school can’t do that, I have no obligation to use their services.

In the past, I would have thought it a real concern that homeschooling parents have no state oversight. See above for concerns about the level of education they get. But one part of this really concerns me: most child abuse referrals come from public school teachers. If there is no public school teacher to notice and care about a bruised child, who will help?

Now, I’m pretty sure that this isn’t a problem on any large scale. I know that a severely abusive family would probably keep a child out of school no matter what the laws. Homeschooling kids is such hard work and demands such commitments of the parents, I really doubt the casually abusive family would consider it. Their kids are in the way, so public school is as good a free babysitter as any.

Finally, the question of rocking the foundations of our democracy just makes me laugh. Yes, like all non-homeschoolers, in the past I believed that Christian homeschoolers were all nutty fundamentalists trying to keep their kids ignorant.

But now I know that for every Christian homeschooler trying to keep their kids ignorant, you have the whole range of other homeschoolers to balance them: Christian homeschoolers who aren’t, actually, trying to keep their kids ignorant. Homeschoolers who happen to be Christian but educate their children in a largely secular manner. Homeschoolers of other religions or no religion at all. Homeschoolers who are actively atheist. Pagans, hippies, and whatever else you can find.

And talk about rocking the foundations of our democracy: Those Christian homeschoolers aren’t the only radical ones out there homeschooling. How about those of us who have decided to vote with our feet when it comes to the sort of choices our educational establishment has been making lately? (No Child Left Behind, for example.) And those of us who are raising our children to actually be radicals: left-wing or no-wing, there are parents out there that simply don’t want their children to be forced to conform.

What it comes down to, for me at this point in my homeschooling life, is that the very foundation of our democracy is choice. Yes, there are some yucky parts of our history that don’t jibe with that (the fact that the native people of this land had their choices taken away from them was probably the first), but those yucky parts aside, we are a nation of people who choose to be here. We choose to have the freedom to choose, and new immigrants come here full well knowing what they’re giving up. The rest of us may have forgotten why our ancestors came here, but freedom of choice was a big part of it for most of them.

So, now I would absolutely defend a parent’s right to choose to homeschool, almost no matter what. But I am going to put that almost in there… I like to keep my options open….

Posted in Homeschooling.


Let’s go to Antarctica!

Last night I attended a mysterious congregation in a parking lot after dark. Luckily, I had a flashlight on my keychain, and I knew the people I was meeting were not dangerous. They are scientists who study Antarctica, and  a local teacher who is going with them with a mission to teach us more about the mysterious bottom of our earth.

Students will send water drops to take part in the Ice Aged expedition.

Students will send water drops to take part in the Ice Aged expedition.

There’s lots of information about their project at their website, IceAged. They plan to go to Antarctica at the end of September and spend a few months — until the summer “warmth” makes the ice dangerous to maneuver on — living at a research facility, going out on expeditions over the ice, scuba diving under the ice, and sending SCINI (”skinny”) the robot to go where humans can’t.

Tina Sander is a local teacher who is going along to forge a connection between what these researchers are doing and the rest of us. Her mission? To show us why we should care about how the Antarctic is changing and how human activity is damaging this fragile ecosystem.

Before going to the presentation, I didn’t quite get why a teacher was going along and what she was going to do. But the presentation was lively and informative, and I came away really stoked to have my kids, and hopefully their homeschool community, take part in this.

Sander is running a “Water Drop” program — kids will go to the website and print out a large water drop, which they will write messages on and decorate. Then they will mail it to Antarctica (one thing I learned last night is that Antarctica has a US Zip Code!), and Sander will send the water drop along on jobs that are done at the research station. Kids will be able to log in to her journal and see what their water drop has been up to, thus sending a little piece of themselves to take part in this fascinating project at the bottom of the world.

Sander is keeping an online journal of her experiences, and while she’s in Antarctica she’s also going to be doing webinars so that she can communicate with everyone who is watching her progress down south.

This sort of experience is the most rewarding part of what I do. If I hadn’t agreed to write about this project, I probably would have given in to lethargy at 8:30 on a Friday evening. But the commitment got me out of the house and I learned a great deal and am inspired to take part in this Santa Cruz-born adventure. I hope I can inspire some of you, as well, to send a little drop of water into the great big ocean that most of us will never see.

Posted in Avant Parenting.


Talking about blogging

Sunday I gave a workshop about blogging to a bunch of homeschool parents at the HSC Conference. About half of the people in the room already had blogs; the other half were thinking about it. Some really interesting questions came up regarding what a blog is, why you would do it, who is it for…

One parent was thinking about documenting her family’s long trip on a sailboat. This is a common reason to start a blog: You are doing something unusual or interesting, and you want to document what happened. I’ve seen blogs about interesting travels, unusual restaurants, or whatever passion someone has.

Some people who blog just do it for their friends, and their main goal is letting people know what’s going on in their lives.

Other bloggers have a profession that leads them to have “expert opinions” on some subject. (We have one of those at SantaCruzParent: Heddi’s Hands On Learning blog.)

Which leads me to wonder what my blog is about. I think I needed to come up with a new category: Random thoughts from someone who likes to type…? Outrageous opinions from someone who is happy to change her opinions at whim…? Professional advice from a professional, uh, … hm. Not sure where to go from there.

Well, anyway, it was a fun talk, and thanks to all the parents who showed up there to talk about blogging.

—-

In other news, summer has finally hit the Central Coast and I Am Hot. Which means that this blog entry has been on my screen for two days and hasn’t gone much further, so perhaps it’s time to hit “Publish” and move forward.

More when our natural air-conditioning comes back. Then, at least, I’ll have one thing to write about: grumbling about the fog!

Posted in Avant Parenting.


Notes from the conference, day 2

This is my day off at the HSC Homeschooling Conference. Tomorrow I’ll be working again. But until then, I play…

I got to hear an inspiring talk by Linda Dobson, who homeschooled back before there was the Internet, even. I have to say, when I think about trying to educate kids with a library card and not much else, school looks pretty good to me! But in any case, anyone who homeschools appreciates going to talks by parents who not only did it and survived intact, but produced well-educated, productive members of society. So we’re not necessarily ruining our children’s lives… though I guess there are plenty of other opportunities to do that!

I finally got to hear another homeschooling Santa Cruzan — Wes Beach — speak. I’ve known about him for a while, but since I was homeschooling a little one, I thought I’d look him up in the distant future. Now that I’m homeschooling an 11-year-old, that future seems so much closer. Wes’s own son went to college in his early teens. Wes talked about how current research on how our brains develop shows that the life we provide our kids, does, in fact, affect them deeply. Kids who learn in an environment where it is assumed that learning is a task of mastering a set body of knowledge and skills are simply much less likely to become adults who keep learning and growing. I liked what he answered when I asked  him about my own burning question about this research: “One of the things I spend way too much time doing is trying to get definitive answers to complex questions.”

I know what he means.

Not that I’m trying, but radicalization seems to be a theme I’m chasing in Sacramento this year. The homeschool community is exploding in size, and many of those joining it are no longer the radicals that did it in the seventies and eighties. Most of the newbies are signing up for government-funded charters (or public non-charter homeschool programs like the one we belong to). For homeschoolers who follow the more radical ideas of John Holt or John Taylor Gatto, this is not a positive growth direction for homeschooling. In my case, I tend not to latch onto any one camp, whether radical or conservative. So as I look at it, the radicals don’t have to worry about their version of homeschooling. It’ll pretty much take care of itself. Those who are joining homeschooling by doing so through government-approved channels will or won’t become “true” homeschoolers at some point, but I don’t see that their existence will make that much of a difference in the lives of independent homeschoolers. Perhaps the one difference they’re making already is just to make it less likely that adults will stop homeschooling families in the street and ask them why they aren’t in school. The more of us there are, of all different flavors, the more acceptable the general idea will be.

One of my favorite homeschooling moments was when a neighbor asked my daughter why she wasn’t in school. My daughter said, “I’m in homeschool,” and without missing a beat, our neighbor answered with Santa Cruzan enthusiasm, “Cool!”

I ended the day by meeting up with a crew of Santa Cruz homeschoolers. Because so many of us are in [those evil, government-funded] public homeschool programs, we can be a bit clannish. People from AFE know each other, people in the SLV charters know each other, and on and on, but we don’t mix so much. So the conference is a time to meet up and compare notes.

I think we’re all pretty happy with how we’re doing it, and definitely happy with the level of choice we have in Santa Cruz County. In our homeschooling lives, it’s not the case that we’re searching for things to do. We Santa Cruz homeschoolers are constantly having to turn down all the opportunities for cool learning and experiences that keep presenting themselves. If we didn’t, we’d be even more familiar with Highway 1 than we already are, and we’d have to take the “home” completely out of homeschooling.

Posted in Avant Parenting.


Report from the conference, day 1

One year ago, I had a terribly disappointing experience. I had proposed a few workshops at the HSC Homeschooling Conference in Sacramento, and the one they accepted was a writing workshop for teens. This was going way back into my past as a college English teacher, and I was looking forward to it. I frankly never meant to teach young children — if you’d asked me about that back when I was a college teacher, I would have said that I didn’t want to take the chance of screwing up young children’s lives by being so responsible for them! Ah, how things change.

My workshop was set for the final hour on a Sunday afternoon at the conference. I went to my room and waited. And waited. And wondered. I actually didn’t know any homeschooling teens, as I was homeschooling a six-year-old and was relatively new at it. It occurred to me that perhaps I should have done a little legwork before the conference. And that perhaps the last session on a Sunday afternoon was not the right time to ask teens to come and sit in a quiet room and write.

No one came. Finally, I went for a walk around the conference center and saw one large group of teens relaxing together, their last hour together before they’d go back to wherever they came from. Many of them, I’d been told, look forward to the conference as a time to get together with their friends from around the state. It was clear that writing poetry was far from their minds.

And yet, optimistic soul I must be, I applied again this year and again I was assigned a teen poetry workshop. This time, I asked them please not to make it Sunday afternoon! And I did a little advance PR, e-mailing the state e-mail list and asking parents of teens who like to write to let them know about my workshop.

This time they came, five teen girls who like to write and were willing to let me guide them through an experiment in finding thoughts and inspirations. One of the first things I did was to read them a piece of dreadful drivel that I’d written in iambic pentameter, the meter much classic English poetry (including Shakespeare’s) was written in. I write really awful iambic pentameter, and I know it. And I remember being a teen and wanting to do things well, and that confusion of what I should do when something was, in fact, dreadful. Quit? Cry? Get angry?

Now I know I should have just laughed and wondered if there was anything I could get from it. So that’s what we did. We wrote in a variety of forms: first I had them walk in Shakespeare’s shoes and try iambic pentameter. Not surprisingly, they hated it as much as I do. They discovered what I figured they would: that the tradition of American song with its four beats per line made it very hard to get in that last fifth beat. It feels unnatural to us.

Then we did a shape poem: we all wrote in circles and looked for inspiration there. Then we wrote on graph paper, one letter per box. And then I set them free.

And it was fun. They took my lead and didn’t try to get too much deep meaning from it. We wrote and giggled and talked a bit about the shape of the English language and why sad poetry is so much easier to write than happy poetry. And since we are homeschoolers, I didn’t have to correct their spelling and grammar — Mom can take care of that!

My only regret is that I misread the schedule and let them out 15 minutes earlier than we all wanted to go. We were all disappointed; it was an hour and a quarter very well spent, and I thank them for that time.

—-

After that, I was free to be the student, and I went to hear Diane Flynn Keith speak. She’s sort of a homeschooling guru who started a simple idea of “Carschooling” — things you can do while driving in the car that are educational. Homeschoolers often spend lots of time in the car, running around to catch that next bit of inspiration that the world is offering. And by the way, this would be a good website for any family that wants to make the most of their car time — not just homeschoolers!

Keith gave an interesting talk on homeschooling teenagers. Since I am setting out to homeschool an almost-teen, I thought perhaps she could offer some insight and inspiration.

She did! I had  a momentary fear that she would be one of those homeschooling gurus who assume that all of us are completely anti-school. Personally, I am pro-knowledge, and however people get it is fine with me. But I can’t think of anything better than having four years of young adulthood to study and argue and live the life of the mind. So my hope for my kids is clearly that I’d like them to go to college… if it’s what they want.

She did a good job of balancing on that line between rejecting the idea that we have to do everything that we are told, and rejecting everything just as a reflex. Homeschoolers, like schoolers, can sometimes find themselves rejecting the idea that our way is not the only way. So I like to hear the acknowledgment (though it should be obvious) that each family should make the choices that work for them.

One of the fun things about this conference is meeting people face-to-face whom I’ve only “met” online. They are more likely to recognize me, since I have this habit of pasting my face above my work. But it’s fun to place actual humans in their context. In this modern world, it’s too easy to forget that there are actual fingers behind those words that appear on our screens.

Posted in Homeschooling.


And we’re… off! Sorta. Kinda. Getting there.

I declared to my kids a few days ago that our official first day of homeschooling would be next Monday, but somehow today got to be the day.

All summer, we’ve been coasting. My daughter has been so into her camps, and my son has been into practicing magic. Neither had any interest in studying much of anything, except my daughter and our Math Stories excursion. I had no problem with that. I may be a classical homeschooler at heart, but my 7-year-old has proven to me that unschooling can, in fact, work. She just soaks things in whether I plan them or not.

However, I have been lying in wait with a few things. One of them was our Japanese project. I decided that the way to get my kids really into learning Japanese was to get them to document it, something they both like to do. So here it is, all fresh and new:

You can visit our new Japan blog at http://sukiwessling.com/Japan/.

Today happened just like a typical homeschooling day when I was doing only one. We did a scheduled activity (Irene the wonderful piano teacher is back in town! Yay!), then a few errands. Came home, ate lunch.

At some point I mentioned that we might do some Japanese. Daughter says she has something much more important to do. Son disappears into his room. Later, I give them 5 minutes notice, Let’s get together to do some Japanese. Son has excuses. Daughter says I’m busy!!! Finally, I drag them to the carpet. Son interacts with me for a bit, then daughter joins in, then son decides he needs to derail the whole thing and gets daughter all annoyed, then daughter decides she needs to derail the whole thing and picks up the flashcard for Little Sister (imoto), sticks a blue tag on it, and says, “Blue means good.” Then she picks up the flashcard for big brother (oniisan), sticks a red tag on it, and announces, “Red means bad.”

How do you say “Oy, veh!” in Japanese, anyway?

But somehow, things seemed to start to come together. There was a vibe. We learned to pronounce the animal flashcards and took turns saying, “I like dogs.” “Really? I like cats.” The sort of inanities that you have to do when learning a language.

Then I mentioned the blog. 11-year-old had already chosen his Japanese blog name, Akira. 7-year-old, who hadn’t been able to decide when it was just an idea, suddenly had to be Ishi. 11-year-old set up Wordpress on my website like he does such things for a living. (I’m still trying to figure out how I can become rich on  his skills.) And we have a blog.

The idea is that we will all contribute, and that our contributions will fuel our excitement about what we’re doing. That’s the idea anyway.

But if you want to make my kids’ day (and perhaps make my homeschooling days easier), take a minute to go and comment on their blog entries (once they’re up there). It’s such a kick for kids to realize that they’ve done something that grown-ups have noticed and taken seriously. And while they are working away at the blog, they’ll actually be cementing what they’re learning, which is my point.

Their point is having fun. And being taken seriously, no matter what they’re doing.

Magic.

Posted in Homeschooling.


Back to homeschool

I’m writing an article for Growing Up in Santa Cruz’s September issue about what “back to homeschool” means to local homeschooling families, but I didn’t have space to include my own thoughts on that. So here they are….

This is one scene from our messy homeschooling last year

This is one scene from our messy homeschooling last year. Early in our homeschooling career, another homeschooler said to me, "Perhaps you're just a bit too neat to be a homeschooler!" But see? I do allow messes to happen: this is science fair prep...

Back to homeschool means realizing that summer is almost over and we still haven’t had a single day without a scheduled event, all summer…

Back to homeschool means looking at my disarray of a homeschooling corner in the breakfast room and remembering that I’ve seen school classrooms in worse shape…

Back to homeschool means waking up in the morning and realizing that I’m actually going to homeschool two children this year, and I’m still not sure how to do one…

Back to homeschool means that before we go back to homeschool, I get to spend a weekend away at the HSC Homeschooling Conference in Sacramento. Most families go as a family, but fellow blogger Heddi introduced me to the idea that we are with our kids all year long, so we deserve a break! So I am going to retool, and present three workshops myself.

Back to homeschool means a growing excitement about going back to our public homeschool program and seeing our friends we haven’t gotten together with all summer.

Back to homeschool means remembering that although Montessori’s “clean it up after you use it” philosophy is attractive to my neatness gene, homeschooling is all about day-long or multi-day projects in which messes happen and messes stay, and stay, and stay…

Like other homeschoolers, back to homeschool means the fun we get to have going to museums and parks that are empty of schooling families. We’re happy to give these places a miss during the crowded summers.

Back to homeschool means wondering if I can keep up with everything I need to I do for myself and still educate my kids.

Heres another homeschooling mess from last year!

Here's another homeschooling mess from last year! Building with Lego is a perfectly acceptable homeschool activity! We used to have the "use it then put it away rule. Now I allow for muti-day projects till it's time to vacuum...

Back to homeschool means salivating over all the incredibly cool opportunities that start popping up: carpentry class, science classes, online literature classes, someone forming a nature group, someone else forming a homeschool co-op… and wondering whether we can squeeze one more thing into our crazy schedules.

Back to homeschool means thinking about the ways that I will make myself available to other homeschoolers for support and help educating their children — one of my favorite parts of homeschooling.

Back to homeschool means wondering if any of my friends will be willing to take on my kids this year, after they got to deal with one of them last year……….

Back to homeschool means a continual re-evaluation of our educational choices. Are there really no schools that could do better? Are we really happy with this? Would it just be easier to stick them both in private school and get a job?

Back to homeschool means excitement over knowing how much my kids will learn, leading themselves to answer questions and develop their own interests.

Back to homeschool reminds me that I have to suppress my dislike of clutter, because a good homeschool day often leaves some craziness in its wake….

Back to homeschool means wondering whether I should buy a boxed curriculum just in case I miss something…

And back to homeschool reminds me that I missed plenty of things when I was in school, but when they became important later I learned them.

Yep, I have to get used to messy if Im going to do this homeschooling thing...

Yep, I have to get used to messy if I'm going to do this homeschooling thing... When a kid has to do experiments with magnetism, who cares if it's right where you stand to play guitar?

Mostly, back to homeschool means a renewed commitment to a choice that is a commitment. It started as a fallback because everything else had failed, but now it’s a choice that I must embrace and celebrate in order to be successful.

I don’t think that homeschooling would be for every family, but this year we’re going to take a chance on it being right for us…

…for now, at least, which is as far ahead as I can plan!

Posted in Homeschooling.


On a cold and dreary day…

OK, here’s what I want to know: Who stole my summer and when are they going to give it back?

As I mentioned in my last post, we go to the Cabrillo Festival every single year. And I remember many festivals, many afternoons of trying to stay out of the sun, getting to wear a new summer dress, needing my hat not only because I know that UV comes through clouds, too.

And I must preface this by saying that I’m no fog wimp. I actually like fog. I prefer living here on the coast where “God gave us air conditioning.” I like chilly evenings and walking on the beach on a cold, foggy morning.

But what gives this year? I read recently someone who said, the problem now is that you can’t even talk about the one traditionally safe topic — the weather — without getting into a political argument. But heck, I could do with a little coastal warming right now to go along with our global warming.

But despite the gloom, the cheer was out in force today at the festival downtown. I was a little dismayed yesterday to see that the street fair part of the festival was sparsely attended. Geez, I thought, you can’t get better than free music and some pretty good street food. But cancel that, today had the turnout of the century. The family concert was packed, every last seat. A few people sat in the aisles, and a few people brought their own seats (in the form of wheelchairs).

Fun was had by all, I’d say. The instrument petting zoo is always amusing, but the main attraction varies according to which composer is brought in each year. This year it was composer Nathaniel Stookey with a story by Lemony Snicket. My kids are actually not big Snicket fans, but I have to say that this was probably the best composed-for-children piece I’ve heard in a while. The composer not only composed bits to introduce the functions of the various sections of the orchestra without boring us, but he also theatrically read the story and got some really good belly laughs from the audience. (Perhaps more from the adults, who got some of the jokes, the best of which was a play on composer and decompose.)

(Watch The Composer is Dead on YouTube.)

Not bad for free.

And then the audience was once more disgorged into the gloom. Briefly, while I stood talking to another homeschooling mom while my daughter did free art in the children’s art area, the sun came out. We both looked up with the awe of an Alaskan who opens his curtains one morning in January to find the sun pouring down. Sun! we exclaimed. Then away it went, but the good cheer stayed.

I guess I may have to save my sun dress for Sacramento this year, darn it. But at least I got that charge of our community once again turning out in full glory to hear orchestral music, be wowed by Watsonville Taiko (including kids playing taiko this year, a real treat), do free art, and relax in the su- –I mean– gloom of yet another foggy day in Santa Cruz.

Posted in Arts and Music, Santa Cruz.


Cabrillo Festival offers more than just the avant garde

I was inspired to write more on a topic from last week’s Santa Cruz Parent newsletter (if you’re in Santa Cruz, you’re a parent, and you don’t get it, you should — sign up here). It was a small feature about the Cabrillo Music Festival, which is a great local gem. I am a big fan, not only because I am actually into New Music (What’s that??) year-round, but because it’s such a great event for families.

Free family concert

Free family concert

As the article said, the Festival is an unusual event: All orchestral music, all by composers of our time, most of it never heard before, much of it by really truly young composers.

But that’s not why my kids care about it. They just think it’s fun!

There are three reasons why I think families — whether in Santa Cruz or within drivable distance — should make this festival part of their children’s lives.

First of all, there’s the street fair. This is an easy part of the festival to enjoy. You come to downtown Santa Cruz on a Saturday or Sunday, enjoy the open air music, the variety of food, the crafts, and the kids’ art area. The music, the crafts, and the art are free; the rest will empty your pocketbook if you don’t watch out. If you’re on a budget, bring a picnic! We always try to make sure we see Zunzun and Watsonville Taiko, and there are always other great musicians on the schedule.

Second, families are invited to the free family performance on Sunday, which is a real treat. (To go, you need to have a ticket, which is free. Either you can order tickets to paid performances and get tickets for the family concert sent as well, or you can walk up to the box office at the Civic Auditorium and get them free of charge. But do it before the day of the concert, because it pretty much always “sells out”!) This concert is truly geared toward kids, with a “petting zoo” of instruments (don’t think you’re just going to be sitting there — this is an interactive event), exciting musical selections that are short and dazzling, and usually a young conductor or composer in residence to make sure your kids know that classical music isn’t only fit for grey-hairs. Director Marin Alsop, a mom herself, makes this a really special event.

Third, and probably least well-known, are the open rehearsals. I take my kids every year. If you have a child who can refrain from screaming, you’re probably OK to go to the rehearsals. They’re pretty busy, with people going in and out, musicians playing, arriving, and leaving. The orchestra and Alsop are amazingly focused, running through bits of music and also entire pieces without much of a nod toward the audience. It’s a great learning experience for kids, whether they are studying an instrument or not. It’s such a revelation that huge groups of people can all work really hard on their own, then come together for a few weeks a year to do something amazingly complex and exciting.

If you have a teen, there’s another free event I’d recommend: The free “In the Works” concert on August 4 features music by young composers with young conductors leading the music. My almost-teen is interested in music composition, so of course we’ll be there, but even if your teen isn’t interested in composition, per se, it’s a great lesson in what can be done by young people who set their mind to something.

My blog’s name was influenced by my love of avant garde music, and I am thrilled to be in one of the centers of it, even though at the moment I am too busy with parenting to even think about writing music. (OK, I do still think about it, but composing requires long periods of silence, which I never get!) But even if you aren’t into New Music at all, this festival offers so much to entertain, dazzle, and excite the neurons in those little growing brains in your household.

Posted in Arts and Music, Culture Critic, Santa Cruz.


Math stories

Homeschoolers are constantly sending out information about cool resources they found, great projects that inspired their children, and new curriculum they’re trying. I try to keep up on it all, but a lot of it slides right by. Occasionally I really try out a recommended website or book. But sometimes it’s a slower process.

Penrose

Penrose

In the case of story-based math learning, it was a process of being nagged, over and over, by a continuing refrain from the chorus. On every “great math resources” list I’d come across one. Or a friend would mention one. Or I’d see a recommendation on an e-mail forum.

Then one day I typed “Sir Cumference” into the library’s online search engine, and we had a revelation.

Math stories work!

I need to distinguish math stories from that dreaded staple of math textbooks and standardized tests, the story problem. Math stories are to story problems what sugar is to saccharine, or hiking a beautiful mountain trail is to look at photos of a beautiful mountain trail. Saccharine, photos, and story problems assume that the goal is the answer. But what’s important here is the actual experience.

The first math stories I brought home recently were the Sir Cumference books. Our local library had two of them, so I ordered them and placed them on the table by the couch where we keep our books in progress. My daughter was immediately drawn to them — she loves knights. The titles are wonderful: Sir Cumference and the Dragons of Pi; Sir Cumference and the First Round Table. She devoured the two I had ordered that day, all by herself.

That evening, after the kids were in bed, my husband told me something with awe on his face: “Do you know that our daughter explained to me the relationship between the number of vertices and edges in a geometric solid?”

“Sir Cumference,” I answered.

“Sir What?

In each story, the characters (charmingly named things like “Lady Di of Ameter”) take part in solving a mystery involving math. I am sure that my daughter had no idea that she was “learning” anything of any use, but she was clearly retaining concepts, some of them much more advanced than the math she is able to do on paper. The next day I went to the Bookshop and got the whole series, since the library doesn’t have it. They’ve been in constant rotation ever since.

Recently I was at a meeting and recommended these books. Another mom recommended a book that she’d recommended before, but now that I’d had the Sir Cumference experience I was starting to get it. The Adventures of Penrose the Mathematical Cat starts with an introduction about the real Penrose, and it has his actual photo. Then the story immediately dips into fantasy.

The real Penrose likes to sleep on his mistress’s math papers and books. The fictional Penrose interacts with characters from those papers that come to life and pose him questions he (and your child) had never considered before. The topics covered, as in Sir Cumference, are often rather esoteric, but they lead to deep understanding rather than a shallow attainment of a skill. My daughter loved the chapter about creating stars within other shapes. The chapter on base 2 led her and her brother to spend some time trying to stump each other with bigger and bigger base 2 numbers to translate to base 10.

Another example of math stories is recommended Heddi Craft: the Life of Fred series. As the publisher describes it: “In his everyday life he first encounters the need for each new part of mathematics, and then comes the mathematics.” Each chapter presents Fred with obstacles that can be overcome with math, and ends with a small number of math problems related to the text. Heddi says that the beauty of it is that it’s not a textbook chapter with 20 questions of each type, but rather a simple quiz that makes sure the child gets it, then moves on.

These three examples are all rather different in their form, but their aim is the same: If you create a world in which math matters, kids will learn it. And all three of these worlds draw kids in, sometimes without their knowing that it’s the least bit educational. And they will acquire a deep understanding rather than a superficial skill that they can easily forget over summer break.

The knowledge kids acquire depends on the child, his or her math skills, and — I think this is key — the involvement of the parent or teacher. I have seen this quite clearly: Sir Cumference was just left strewn about our house. My daughter reads them, but we have never actually sat down and done any math associated with them because I was just enjoying how much she was enjoying them and talking about the concepts she was learning.

When she saw Penrose, however, she refused at first to even look at it. “That’s boring,” she said. No knights. No color pictures. Lots and lots of text. So one night when she was drying off from her shower, I just sat down and started reading the first story out loud. My involvement, this time, led to a very different type of interaction. She was not only interested in the book, but willing to do some of the exercises with me, and then inspired to go off on her own and do more.

Last year I attempted to do the “leave it lying around the house” method with Life of Fred, and got the same “that’s boring” response. I think what she really means is, “I’m going to need your involvement here,” so when we’re finished with Penrose, I think I will once again start Life of Fred and see what happens.

If you’re interested in these books and more, check out Living Math, a wonderful math resources website. She doesn’t have a page specifically for math stories, but many of the books she recommends are in story form.

Posted in Education, Homeschooling.


Camp every day! Camp all year round!

This is my seven-year-old’s mantra this summer: Camp every day! Camp all year round!

That girl is just so darn happy. And no wonder: In school, you have to conform. Camp is about expressing yourself. In school, they try to get rid of your bad habits. In camp, they put up with them or turn them into art projects. In school, they tell you what you’re learning will be useful someday. In camp, what you’re learning is useful right now!

She has had two great camp experiences this year, and I wanted to write about both of them because we have a whole month left of summer (those of us who don’t attend PVUSD), so don’t give up on camp yet.

When my son was six, I read about Renaissance Camp and talked to a very happy parent, and we decided to try it out. It was fabulous, and he went for two summers. Luckily, the very happy parent warned me about the waiting list. She said, “Call them and find out which day and time registrations open online. Then put that on your calendar and register right as soon as it opens because they always fill.”

Renaissance Camp is all about hands-on art and science. Younger campers are joined by camp alumni who work as teen counselors. The staff is fabulous and they take amazing fieldtrips. This summer my daughter went to the Museum of Modern Art in San Francisco. My son’s group went to the Exploratorium. All expenses are included in the camp fees. You get a really great calendar each week telling you what they’re going to do. Your child comes home brimming with new ideas and insights. I have absolutely no complaints.

This year, however, things were different. The camp didn’t fill. The director was put on furlough so she couldn’t be there full-time. None of this affected the campers — they were happy as clams. But I noticed it. There was a sign up informing parents that there was space in all three sessions still. (The third session starts Monday, and I bet they still have room…) The staff seemed particularly interested in having us fill out evaluations — the County, of course, is looking for any way to cut funds, and a program for kids that didn’t fill this summer might look like an easy target.

After Renaissance Camp, we took some time off camp to travel and relax, then she was back at it with Santa Cruz Soccer Camp. Again, I have not one complaint to lodge. Like last year, the program was lovely, my daughter was very happy, and she learned a whole lot more than just soccer moves. I wrote an article about Santa Cruz Soccer last year and also blogged about it.

Like Renaissance Camp, Santa Cruz Soccer is also experiencing great declines in enrollment. It runs on a weekly program, with new sessions every week, so you can sign up anytime during the summer. Unlike Renaissance Camp, SC Soccer is not a County program. They can only function if they get enough money, and most of that comes from enrollment. And most of their enrollment comes from word of mouth (or in this case, fingers!).

It’s a hard time now for everyone, and one of the hardest things to judge is this thing they call “Consumer Confidence.” Even people who haven’t seen a decline in their income are starting to think twice about spending. The problem is, when confidence goes down we start to get a snowball effect: Those who have enough money start spending less, which results in fewer jobs and less tax revenue. In a county like ours, that means that services we have known and loved for years start to disappear. And once they disappear, they don’t necessarily just pop back into place when the economy starts up again.

In my own mind, I have to fight with this lack of confidence. When I spend the money on a camp, I remind myself that not only does it make my daughter extremely happy (camp all year round!) but it also supports our local economy and continues programs that I support. I’d hate to think that these wonderful experiences won’t be here for future Santa Cruz kids. The people providing these services lose their jobs, move on to something else, somewhere cheaper to live, and their accumulated experience can’t be replaced.

I’m fine with change, but not that kind of change!

So I guess my message for the day is this: If you have the money, camp is a great experience, and your choice of camps is out there this summer. These two camps are just two that I know have room, but I’m guessing most of them do. And many of them are probably offering discounts. And if you’re not in Santa Cruz, I’m sure this is happening communities across the country, too.

We’ve got one month left of time to offer your child the experience of taking joy in creation, movement, and invention.

As I told the owner of Santa Cruz Soccer, the most precious thing to me about the camp is that I see my daughter shining with success. She’s not always successful at other things she needs to do in life, but camp is all about success. And that’s a gift I’m happy to give her, each summer until the money dries up!

Posted in Avant Parenting, Culture Critic, Psychology.


Getting rid of, the lime green sequel

We knew we had a mold problem. Everyone who lives under redwood trees has a mold problem. At least it was better than when we moved in, and you could smell it on everything. Then, we replaced the heavy, soggy curtains with blinds, got rid of the mildewed wool carpeting, and lined the entire crawl space with heavy plastic.

But still, we had a mold problem. Years came and went, and shoes we didn’t wear would start to fuzz. We’d say, boy, we really should deal with that mold problem.

Back when no one yet knew what green would mean!

Suki/Siouxsie in her lime green skirt when no one yet knew what "green" would mean!

Then came the Summer of Getting Rid Of (which follows the Winter of Getting Rid Of). I called our friendly painter (shameless plug: T. Paul Sek and his wonderful wife Debbie, who do all the research we don’t have time to do, who tackle other people’s mold problems, their allergy problems, and their irritation with nasty-smelling paint with cheer and Certified Green weaponry). We set a date, we started to unload the closets. And unload. And unload.

The kids and I were about to take off on five days up in the Sierras with a friend, and so I demanded of my husband: Don’t put anything back in until we decide what to Get Rid Of! I returned to find the enormous pile in intact. Secretly, I’d hoped that he or some kind faeries would have taken care of it, but no such luck.

The closets were gorgeously clean, and coated with some stuff that mold doesn’t like the feel of. It was almost a shame to put anything back into them, but we attacked the pile.

On top were the things that we knew we were probably going to keep. The everyday clothing that we’d been wearing regularly went back in, though I managed to grab some frayed, stained, and unwanted items as they made their way back into the closet. I was ruthless with my own stuff, removing all the socks I don’t really like, the t-shirts I really don’t wear anymore, the shorts I’d always hated. Goodbye, clothes, hello, Goodwill!

Then came the dressy clothing that we wouldn’t wear very much anyway, but you just don’t want to replace. My husband has fewer than one occasion per year to wear a suit, but who wants to buy a new one? Back in they went. I stopped a few pieces of my own nice clothing that I’d never really liked and put it into a separate pile for the Daisy Store. (Have you been there? Fabulous! Around the corner from OSH on 41st Ave., and all their proceeds go to the Family Services Agency.)

Then came the loads of clothing I was keeping for various reasons, all of them unrealistic and sentimental. Clothing that doesn’t fit me anymore and is already out-of-date. Even if I lost those inches around my middle, would I wear them? Clothing that I was saving for my daughter. I have fond memories of my older sister and me dressing in my mother’s old fancy party dresses from high school. We loved them so much — we felt like princesses in them. My daughter, however, has decided not to wear girls’ clothes at all, much less princess outfits. When she plays dress-up, it’s in knight gear and as a samurai warrior. Is she really going to wear that stuff? And then there were the pure sentimental items: the dress I was married in didn’t get sent to the Daisy Store pile, but that suede dress I’d never wear again did.

Years and years of stuff I was keeping because “you never know when you’ll need it” went straight into the Goodwill pile. That which had visible mold on it went straight to garbage.

The haul to the Goodwill was easy. There was nothing in there that I will remember enough to miss. The Daisy Store pile, however, is still tossed over the couch in our bedroom. I feel like there is a lot of my history in there. Can I really get rid of the lime green miniskirt that I used to perform in? I have a picture of me with my thick bangs and eyeliner performing outside the student union at Stanford wearing that skirt. It’s hard to give up pieces of my past that bring back such memories like nothing else.

On the other hand, someone else without a mold problem might actually wear it. I’d like to think of some other skinny teenage girl finding my lime green skirt and thinking, Wow, this would be perfect to perform in!

Then again, she’d probably look at it and laugh. This is one of those relics like my mom used to wear in those old photos of her in her college days…

But I won’t think of that. I’ll remember that I don’t need these things, and someone else might. Our closets are now airy and newly painted. We installed a better fan in the shower room, and the drolly named “Dri-Z-Air” in the wettest closet. I may be down one lime green skirt, but on my last visit to the Daisy Store, I found a fabulous, shimmery red dress to wear in the evenings when I go out…

…out with the lime green, in with the shimmery red! Now, that’s progress.

Posted in Avant Parenting, Health, Santa Cruz.


A ledger for peace

I’m not much at finance. I’m good at math, and very organized, so you’d think I’d do OK at bookkeeping. But on the contrary: I hate bookkeeping and it hates me. I do the bare minimum required for my business and force myself monthly to balance our home accounts. When I’m a penny off, I get driven insane trying to figure out where that money went. It’s hard for me to give in and just adjust the register.

My Ledger sheet

My Ledger sheet

So it’s probably understandable that I haven’t done much bookkeeping with my kids. They get their allowance every week, they get paid for various extra tasks they do, and sometimes they get incentive payments for behavioral issues. They’re expected to keep their money in one place, keep track of it, and spend it on things that they want that we don’t want to pay for.

That system, however, had some problems.

First of all, I would shrug when our son mysteriously had another $10 to give me to buy him yet another iTunes gift card. (What did kids of our generation spend their money on? Oh, I guess we were always wanting to go down to the record store, but there was the fact of working out how to get there, so I’m guessing we spent a lot less, or at least a lot less often!)

“Where did that money come from?” my husband will ask. Uh, well…

The kids could also exploit my leaky memory. “You didn’t give me my allowance this week!” my daughter would exclaim, and search me if I did or didn’t.

And then there were the arguments: “She stole my wallet!” “No I didn’t!” “I’m sure I had $20 in here and now I can’t buy that software I’ve been saving for!” Et cetera.

So I got on the warpath, the only time I ever really get much done. I stormed upstairs and looked for a ledger sheet to download. Nothing. Just software, which we have. But software can be much more easily altered than a piece of paper! I wanted them to write down those numbers, add, and subtract so they could actually see where the money went.

I tried printing from Excel, but if you don’t have anything in the fields, the boxes don’t print. I tried buying a ledger book, but they were horribly expensive online, and nonexistent at the office supply store.

Finally, I thought, OK, I am a graphic designer, after all. We bought them report folders that would hold their ledger sheets, and came home. By then, it had occurred to my slow-moving brain that I could probably figure out the Excel thing. So here’s the trick: I did try all the various preferences and options, but really, the easiest way to do it is just to insert a space in each cell so that Excel prints the outlines of all the cells. I made the cells big enough for a 7-year-old’s handwriting. Then I PDF’ed it, and voila!, a perfect kids’ ledger sheet.

You may have it, free of charge (click here).

Will this solve the problem? Well, we still have the problem of my leaky memory. I really have much more important things on my mind than my kids’ money, like what to have for dinner and how to solve all the world’s problems. My fix for that is that they’ve been informed that any money that mysteriously appears in their account will be taken away. Every deposit and withdrawal must be initialed by a parent.

And we still have the problem of wishful thinking, which I guess will just be solved the next time my kids say they want to buy something they can’t afford. It used to be that they’d immediately accuse the other child of taking their money, or me of not giving them allowance, or something like that.

Once you start keeping track of your money, you have to face the cold, hard facts.

Hey, maybe that’s why I don’t like bookkeeping!

Posted in Avant Parenting, Homeschooling.


My edit for the day

The thing about print media is that it’s absolute. This is something that I had trouble explaining to my clients in the early days of web design. “Print is static,” I’d explain. “The web is dynamic.”

They’d want to get their website “perfect” before it “went live.” I knew they’d be shocked at how often they’d want to change it, or their customers would want them to change it. I tried to warn them. Some of them got it.

Fast forward to these days, and print is positively last century. My husband and I did a lot of soul-searching before we canceled our newspaper, a huge deal for us. We love print. We love paper and ink and having books on our shelves.

But as a writer, I’m very happily in the digital age. Every time a piece comes into print, I start thinking about how I’d change it, what I’d add, what I’d leave out. But there it is, sitting in piles outside your favorite local kids’ clothing store. I have to let go, and let go I do.

But then again, I have a blog! I can fix things!

First up, my article about sunscreen in this month’s GUISC. Right after it went to print, I realized that I forgot The Whole Point that I should have been making. Oops. Sometimes we forget things.

It has to do with what was going on in my life three weeks in June: I sent my pale, obstinate, little wonder-child off to day camp. Pale: she needs sunscreen. Obstinate: she decides when she wants to do pretty much anything. Day camp: a place where they like to have fun and not be School, which is where they Make Kids Do Things.

Thus: I’m guessing your child’s camp is like my child’s camp. As I was writing the sunscreen article, and telling the world of Santa Cruz Parents how important it is to reapply it every two hours, it occurred to me that I’m a major offender in that category. I dropped her off one day and asked, “So, do you have a sunscreen reapplication time at noon, since you’re outside so much in the afternoon?” The camp leader looked at me thoughtfully, “Now that’s a good idea,” she said. “No, we don’t.”

I didn’t get the sense that today would be the day they’d start. Let’s face it, getting one obstinate child to apply her sunscreen sometimes ends in a battle of screaming, head-tossing, and occasional nasty language. Doing 30 of them? At summer camp? Gimme a break!

So here’s what I should have said in my article: It’s a great idea to ask your child’s camp whether they have sunscreen re-application time, and remind them that all sunscreens, regardless of variety, degrade in the sun and heat and need to be reapplied every two hours.

[Yes, the cynic in me is saying, Good idea: Fat chance!]

A few days later, a homeschooling friend sent a link to this blog about the various unknowns and partial-knowns about what a good sunscreen is and the possible dangers of ingredients in the sunscreens we use, and this website with recommendations of sunscreens that don’t have these possibly dangerous ingredients.

This is something I would have taken longer to decide whether to commit it to print. As you may have noticed, I don’t jump on every single bandwagon that rolls by. A lot of those bandwagons are driven by people who just love to drive bandwagons! They hear about a new supplement and they just want to be on that bandwagon! Then they hear about a dangerous pesticide and they want to be on that bandwagon!

Like anyone, I’d be pleased to have been in the right, say, when European doctors were prescribing thalidomide to pregnant women and American doctors said, Wait a second, we’re not so sure about this. But I also know that I didn’t jump on the bandwagon that was trumpeting a connection between the MMR vaccine and autism, which has now been soundly disproven. (This may be a cartoon, but this is the very best summary of the whole thing I’ve read.)

So, you may freak out when you read that an ingredient in sunscreen is suspected of encouraging certain cancers. I, the daughter of a scientist, am rather more cautious. So about that I would say: consider keeping current with the recommendations about the types of sunscreen to use. For now, the Skin Cancer Foundation knows more about it than you or I do, and they’re still saying sunscreen is safer than repeated, blistering burns.

Feels better, too.

I say this as a card-carrying member of the highest skin cancer risk group. Not only do I have pale skin that pretty much never tans, and I get freckles, and some of the freckles have become darker and raised up in recent years, but as a child I knew nothing about sunscreen. I lived in Michigan, where I felt victorious if I could get a sunburn after a whole day being outside in the sweltering heat “laying out” with my friends (who always got beautiful tans, of course!).

When I was in high school, I went on a school trip to Mexico. It was a mind-opening experience, and I loved it till our last stop: a beautiful island off the coast near Cancun. There I sat on the beach and giggled when a Mexican boy sat down next to me and said, “You and me? We kees?” and I smeared on a little of whatever cream someone in the group had brought.

That night I was in agony. The next day on the plane, I was ill. For the next week, my body was in revolt, not from Montezuma’s revenge but from the second degree burns all over my body. My mother, not usually squeamish, enlisted my older sister to peel the skin off me in sheets. I was left with a lot more freckles, and a new statistical likelihood in my future.

In other words: Protect your children. Keep a watchful eye on what comes next in sunscreen research, but until then, do what is better than letting them burn.

That’s my edit for the day.

Posted in Culture Critic, Health.


Homeschooling, it’s a carnival

Hi everybody,

My blog got featured in this week’s Homeschooling Carnival. It looks like there’s lots of interesting links there, so check it out!

Posted in Avant Parenting.


Making a greener home

At some event we went to within the last few months, my husband noticed a booth sponsored by PG&E and AMBAG — The Association of Monterey Bay Area Governments. They had a program called Energy Watch, which has funding from PG&E to do free home energy audits. We’re always interested in figuring out what we can do to save energy (and money, which is not always the same thing), so it seemed like a good (and free!) option.

Each time we do something to the house, we’re trying to be conscious of balancing how “green” our choices are with the realities of life. It’s amazing to me how much our consciousness of these choices has changed since we bought our house in 1996. Then, it didn’t occur to me that living at the top of two very large hills might make it less likely that I’d ride my bike to the store rather than drive. Now that I have kids, no way am I going to race down the hill on our bikes if we need to haul a gallon of milk back up.

Similarly, back when we bought our house, solar technology existed but didn’t even enter my thoughts as I looked at the gorgeous redwoods and cypress that surround our house. I was appreciating the green… trees! Not noticing that the lack of sunshine hitting our roof meant that we couldn’t be green: no chance that solar panels would ever pay off, or even pay for themselves before they had to be replaced.

Back when we bought our house, we were charmed by the very high ceilings and the airiness of the house. Now, I shudder at all the money we spend heating up that air with our forced air heating system. When we bought our house, I was annoyed that there was a large front lawn, but I watered it anyway. Now, we just let it die every year. As someone said to me, they let their lawns die on the East Coast for months at a time…during the winter! Ours is lush and lovely during the winter, and bit by bit I’m getting rid of it through less thirsty landscaping.

We have done some very good things to make our house more efficient. When we did a big remodel (before we had kids, of course!), we replaced all the leaky windows with high quality double-paned ones. We try to keep all the doors well-sealed. We have programmable thermostats and as we get hardier, we keep lowering the temperature they’re set at. We have all low-flow toilets and showerheads, of course, and have replaced all the light bulbs we can stand to replace with compact fluorescent.

So we had our AMBAG audit, and our interviewer said that we’d probably done almost as much as we could. The big payoff of doing the audit, it turns out, is that we are going to be part of a huge survey of local homes, to find out what people are doing and what things they haven’t adopted yet. This will help set policy and make decisions about how best to create more energy-efficient homes.

Our interviewer said he was impressed by all we’d done, though I always feel like we haven’t done enough. He promised to get us some answers to our questions (such as, what’s the best way to save money on heating, individual electric baseboards in our rooms, or continue to use the natural gas forced air heating that heats the entire house?), and he gave us some ideas for which changes make the most sense now vs. later. His major point was that making changes that don’t pay off (such as installing solar panels that will end up not saving energy because of our shady location) just doesn’t make sense, so I’m supposed to stop worrying about it. (Fat chance.)

But mostly, he said, by taking part in the survey, our house and habits are going to be part of a fact-finding mission that will hopefully result in all of us finding out how to make our homes more energy efficient. If you’re interested in adding to that database — whether you consider your family a model of green living or happy energy hogs — call up AMBAG and get an appointment.

Posted in Culture Critic, Santa Cruz.


The big stink

If a desperate family of four comes knocking on your door in the next day or two, consider giving them a break.

They might be running from the stench.

The stench of what, you might ask? Well, as they say, whaddya got?

It starts like this: The husband gets up in the middle of the night, feeling restless. As he sits in the living room, he sniffs. What is that… awful smell? Soon he goes back to bed and back to sleep. In the morning, the smell seems like a dream until he walks into the living room. There it is again, stronger.

He goes back to tell his wife about it. Long-suffering wife of a man with a highly sensitive nose, she offers some sympathetic words. When she goes out to the living room, she can certainly smell something off, but nothing to get upset about.

The day wears on. As it does, the smell seems to migrate. When the mother and son come home from an appointment, now it seems like it’s in the stairwell. What gives? By dinnertime, it’s strong, and it’s nasty. Luckily, it hasn’t rounded the corner into the kitchen area where they eat.

By the next morning, it’s a definite stench, and they start to take measures. They’re sure it’s probably something that died in the crawl space. Mother and son walk the perimeter of the house, checking all the screens. They’re all secure. They go behind the house and toward the door into the crawl space. Son decides it’s really very important for him to play on the rope swing at that exact moment.

“Please? I need your moral support!” the mother pleads.

No way. She’s gonna have to be the adult this time. She gingerly takes the cover off the entrance to the crawl space. She’s armed with a large flashlight, which will both illuminate what she doesn’t want to see and clobber anything else that makes a run for it.

The smell that wafts out of the crawl space is musty, earthen, and dark. Perhaps even a bit dank. But definitely not the smell in the house. Nothing like putrid. Nothing like something dead is slowly starting down the road to decay. Hmph.

In the day that follows they check everywhere else. They check under all the furniture. She remembers the smell of her car when the son’s sippy cup full of milk rolled under a seat on a hot summer day. They start wondering, can the smell be coming down from above? They’d had mice in the attic space. Perhaps from there?

Another day passes, the mystery still intact.

The wife has lunch with a friend who’s the wife of a contractor. She offers the sort of sensible advice that the wife of a contractor has heard before: “Well, this is a problem that will eventually take care of itself, you know.”

Big help you are. Some friend.

The smell becomes nearly unbearable. Incense is burning all the time they are in the house. They try fans. They try opening up the upstairs to get more air circulation. That results in their shared office becoming filled with the putrid stench of death.

She starts to become irrational, at home alone with the kids. Nothing the poor daughter (who is missing most of this due to day camp and who swears, in any case, that she can’t actually smell anything bad) does is right. The mother is irritated. She hates this house. She hates mice. She hates her cats, who perhaps killed the thing that is now causing the stench. She corners the cats one by one: “Did you do it?”

They don’t answer.

The family gets testy. They all have low-grade headaches from the incense-filled air. The stench hovers below the smell of the incense, gnawing at their nerves.

Then one night, they’ve just had enough. Each grabs his or her most important things, his desert island disks, her computer that holds the records of all her thoughts and desires. The son always travels light, with just an iPod and his trusty stuffed rabbit. The daughter protests, “Really, guys. What’s the big deal here? It’s not even a bad smell, really!”

They all consider leaving her behind, but that would be too cruel, even if she is pretending that she doesn’t notice the stench. Seeing the desperation in their eyes, the daughter packs a large duffel of her most important things, including three different types of tape, the entire rag bag from the hall closet, and her knight costume.

This motley crew strikes out down the road, leaving the cats behind, confused. “Was it something we did? Something we said?” asks the orange cat.

“No, stupid,” hisses one of the black cats. “We don’t talk to them, remember? They think we don’t understand English.”

“Yes,” confirms the other black cat. “They think we’re too stupid to know that they’re stepping out on us. I bet they went and got the house repossessed by the mortgage lender. That’s happening a lot these days. It’s always the cats who pay in the end. Always the cats!

The family walks desperately down the street, peering into windows that are lighting up, displaying happy families, couples young and old, and the occasional single person eating ramen. Who will take them in? Who will believe it could be so bad?

Who will save them from the big stink?

Posted in Culture Critic.


Talking the talk, clicking the click

So another day in my life: I was interested in getting a book for my kids. OK, if you must know, the Manga Guide to Electricity. My 7-year-old will read anything that has bubbles coming out of mouths, so I figure she might as well be learning about electricity while she’s doing it!

I did my usual few steps: First, check the Santa Cruz Public Library. This is where I always go first, because why buy something before you know if your kids are going to like it? And besides, we just love our library!

Manga guides let your kids learn things from bubbles rather than paragraphs!

Manga guides let your kids learn things from bubbles rather than paragraphs!

The library did have the book, but only as an e-book. This is a great option for many books, especially technical books that will go out of date almost as soon as the library can shelve them. The library also has a wonderful e-book service called Tumblebooks, which my daughter still loves even though she can read just fine. Tumblebooks are animated books that are read out loud to the child. As the words are read, they are highlighted so the child can follow along. It’s a fabulous thing for emerging readers.

An e-book of manga, however, is a lost cause. First of all, they can’t fit an entire page on my screen, so I have to scroll to read the book. Second, I can’t just leave an e-book lying around for my kids to discover. This is one of my most successful ways of teaching my kids. I call it accidental learning, but I do it on purpose!

So my next step was automatic: Type Amazon.com. It’s easy, straightforward, and beautifully executed. (OK, I would believe it’s beautifully executed even if my husband and I weren’t friends with the guy who built their system!)

It is, however, the very opposite of shopping local, which is what I keep telling myself (and everyone else) to do. Even when it’s not quite so convenient. Even when it costs a bit more. Even when my hands type “ama” and the link comes up in my browser. So yes, of course, Amazon had the book. And if I added the Manga Guide to Molecular Biology (which my son wants to study), I’d get free shipping, tax-free, to my house.

Ah, temptation.

However, I recently had a very nice conversation with Neal and Ryan Coonerty. Santa Cruzans and those who follow the plight of independent bookstores need no introduction to the Coonertys. Neal and his wife Candy motored into Santa Cruz in 1973 and bought Bookshop Santa Cruz from its previous owner. They proceeded to turn Bookshop into not only a popular store, but an anchor of downtown Santa Cruz. I remember before I lived in Santa Cruz I came here for two reasons: Bookshop Santa Cruz and India Joze. India Joze is long gone (though I had Joze’s cooking at the Avant Garden Party recently), but Bookshop is still going, now under the leadership of Neal’s daughter Casey. [Read my article here.]

Independent bookstores are the anchors of many a community, but they are dying a slow, agonizing death. First, it was the chain stores, which used their buying power to be able to offer books at lower prices and artificially inflated large inventory. (Ask me about my experiences as a publisher with Barnes & Noble sometime!) Then, it was the Internet.

Amazon.com poses two problems to outfits like Bookshop: First, they can offer things at lower prices. But this is always true of big guys vs. little guys. Bookshop outlasted Crown across the street (in fact, Crown went belly-up after their attempt to put Bookshop out of business). They are co-existing with Border’s down the street. (Hey, Border’s was my local bookshop when I was a kid!)

But Bookshop can’t get away from the tax problem. Yes, as a local bookstore, they have to charge sales tax. And these days, that’s about 10% of your bill. Amazon.com, as a Washington-based company, argues that they don’t have to charge sales tax. And so they don’t. And no one seems to care.

Except Neal and his family. And all the other independent booksellers who are attempting to compete fair and square with a competitor who not only can offer everything, but is being allowed to do it tax-free.

So here’s the thing: I went to Bookshopsantacruz.com. I searched for the book in question. They had Biochemistry on the shelves, and said they could get Electricity in 1-5 days. I ordered them both for free shipping if I pick them up a the store. Their software, yes, is a bit idiosyncratic. (Our friend who designed Amazon.com’s software makes sure that nothing he does is idiosyncratic. It works. You don’t notice it. That’s why he got paid the big bucks to do it.) But their software worked, and my order got submitted.

Within seconds, I received a nice e-mail:

Thank you for your web order. We currently have Molecular Biology on hold for you at the Information Desk. Manga Guide to Electricity has been ordered and should be here late Friday afternoon. We will call you when it arrives.
We REALLY appreciate your support!
Clytia
Bookshop SC

And they really mean it! How do I know? Then I got a phone call. I don’t know if it was Clytia, but she was very nice and she told me that my book was in (the one they had on the shelves). I pointed out to her that a second book was on order. “Oh, yes,” she noticed. I told her I’d pick them both up when they were both there. “Cool!” she said.

The Santa Cruz experience. No one at Amazon.com is going to call you up. They aren’t going to say, “Cool!” as if you just executed a rad move in the surf.

We live in a place. We chose this place because of the place it is. In order to keep it the place that it is, we have to do a few things. One, we need to pay a little bit more to the people who own our local businesses. Two, we have to deal with a bit of idiosyncrasy. Three, we need to love our idiosyncrasy.

As the Bookshop Santa Cruz t-shirt and bumper sticker says:

Keep Santa Cruz Weird

And, I would add, Keep Santa Cruz Local.

Posted in Culture Critic, Santa Cruz.


The big switcheroo

As longtime readers of this blog know, I live a double life.

Days I’m a homeschooling mom with my seven-year-old daughter. Nights and weekends I get my eleven-year-old son back from school and I’m a schooling mom, asking what happened today in that mysterious, far-away land called “school.”

It’s a weird sort of existence, sort of like being a spy everywhere I go. On the one hand, I’ll be at a homeschooling meeting and someone will say something about how they can’t understand how people can send their kids off to be educated at a school. And I wonder how I can do that.

Or my son relates to me that one of the kids at school said that his mom said homeschooling is “stupid,” and I have to smile and tell him that lots of people don’t really understand what we’re doing, or it’s just not a choice that would make sense for them. But as any homeschooler knows, it’s not a choice that makes sense to us all the time, either, so momentarily I have to wonder: Is my choice to homeschool stupid?

However: this week, with my son done with his school year, I was officially to become a homeschooling mom of two. My son is taking some time off of school to focus on what he wants to study and do, and I want to see if I can have them both in the same house without discovering a natural way to create nuclear fusion.

However, my daughter had other plans. You see, she’s not a big fan of school, but she is a major fan of camp. If school could just be camp year-round, she’d probably be happy to go. Different activities every day? An emphasis on fun, creativity, and just plain silliness? She’s there.

So she decided to go to camp, and not just to any camp, but to a camp that’s three weeks long, almost all day long. Suddenly, as fast as my son’s school year ended, my life is flipped upside-down. In the morning, I pack a lunch for my daughter while my son hangs out doing… whatever he wants. I have to get my daughter to put her backpack together, get on the sunscreen, promise to reapply the sunscreen, and get in the car. Then off we go to kiss her goodbye, and back to our quiet house.

My son and I are well-matched in temperament. He and I can sit in the house all day, talking sometimes, but mostly in our own thoughts doing our own creative work, and feel that it’s a fulfilling day.

My daughter craves action, adventure, and high drama. A day with her is a roller-coaster ride.

You might guess that I’m not really the roller coaster type.

So for a few weeks, my new job of sibling reunification and homeschooling bifurcation is put on hold. My daughter gets non-stop, pre-planned action created by professionals. My son gets quiet contemplation and made-from-scratch lunches. I get a few more weeks to figure out how we’re all going to move ahead as a homeschooling family, one that works together, plays together, and tries very earnestly not to have any nuclear meltdowns.

Wish me luck!

Posted in Avant Parenting, Homeschooling.


Read and support our libraries!

Santa Cruz Public Library’s Summer Reading Program is back up and running again this year. Part of the way that the library gets funding for this is by proving active interest in it, i.e. kids signing up and doing it!

Signing up is easy: Either go to your branch or to the library website, and get your child a registration number. Then get a reading log at your branch and start to read! At the end of the program, your child turns in the log and gets dollars that can be spent at local stores.

Most of the stores accept two or three dollars. My kids like to go for the gold: Here’s an article I wrote about the owner of Atlantis Fantasyworld and why he allows kids to spend all 20 of their reading dollars in his store!

Your kids can also write book reviews on the library website. It’s pretty cool to see their name in lights on the official website after they write one.

So sign up and support your library. And have fun, too.

Posted in Avant Parenting.